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Saturday, March 9, 2013

Am I Getting Old?

I sent my daughter off to her first youth lock-in this weekend. She was super excited from the minute I picked her up from school she was counting down the hours.  But, this was harder on me than I expected.  Am I really old enough to have a child old enough to go to youth events?  Even worse than that was the sadness that she is having experiences without me.  When did she get old enough for that to happen?  Plus, there is a little disappointment based on unrealized expectations.  I had always thought I'd be experiencing these youth events with her.  My husband was a youth pastor after all and I went as a female chaperone to many events.  So, I always assumed I'd be with her as she experienced these firsts.  Well, life throws you a curve ball sometimes.  Our current life situation does not make my being there an option right now.  Do I trust the chaperones she is with--ABSOLUTELY.  But, that doesn't lesson the sadness that my baby is having an amazing experience without me.  I know that letting go is part of parenting, but it is a part I'm not sure I was ready for yet.  I've survived this night.  We'll see how I do when she heads to her first weekend long youth event several hours away.  :)